Over the course of the past year and a half there have been many dark moments. Some I chose to never speak of again, as you can imagine when the heart gets broken and the mind gets low there are thoughts that enter your head that, while I recognize their severity, I am not too... Continue Reading →
Better Left Unread
I refuse to make someone feel like they are second best. Like they are a consolation prize. As if they are not what I want but I am lonely so I will put forth my best efforts to enjoy their company and make them feel like they are the partner I have been looking for... Continue Reading →
I walked across the parking lot on my way into work yesterday; I had to fight every muscle in my body from turning around and running back to my car and driving away. I wasn’t feeling down, I wasn’t feeling up. It was what has become my norm of just riding that middle ground. At... Continue Reading →
The pursuit of happiness……
There has been a gap in my writing as I devoured what books lay around, wrote poetry, lyrics, and sat silently with a loud mind. The past two weeks were filled from morning until night with an even keeled mentally, the ups and downs, or waves, subsided to find calm waters enough for me to... Continue Reading →
I found the Comfort in….
I have been a Nirvana fan since I was a young teenager. The primal screams and pain that emanated from his throat spoke to me as a boy deep in the throws of the stereotypical “teenage angst”. Yes I had the ripped jeans, yes I had the Chuck Taylors, yes I had the long blond... Continue Reading →
I hope I am not my Dorian Grey.
The eyes that star back at me in the bathroom mirror are that of a stranger. I do not recognize this person. He might as well be a passerby glancing from a crowd wondering whom this man was walking down the street staring intently at the sidewalk. The eyes, the eyes that once looked upon... Continue Reading →
To: My boys
On November 3rd, 1999 you were born. I can remember it like it just happened. The fear, excitement, and immeasurable love that tangled and bound up my body was crippling. You were born in the morning and your first day was filled with visitors, a proud mother and father trying their best to change you... Continue Reading →
Riding the Wave,
There is no question that I have lived with depression the vast majority of my life. I find it hard to believe that most haven’t experienced this feeling whether they want to admit it or not, I just don’t see how it is avoidable. There were many moments where I have let it take me... Continue Reading →
What is a forgivable act? What is not? Why do people show up in court to forgive someone who has just murdered a member of their family, while someone in the next courtroom tears into the defendant wishing them nothing but the worst for the time left they have on this Earth. It amazes me... Continue Reading →
Tearing down and building up….
May of 2016 I walked into a Guitar Center to look, I swear just look, at guitars. Hung high upon the wall was a Derek Trucks Gibson SG. It showcased a natural wood with a red finish and it was gorgeous. I had a plan throughout the six months that she lived with me that... Continue Reading →
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