The Formidable Mile….

The journey that I have taken over the course of the past two years has been one that at times has seemed directionless.  Taking the proverbial one step forward only to take two steps back again.  At times these steps seem to be tripping over themselves then stumbling either forward or falling backwards so the... Continue Reading →

I hope I am not my Dorian Grey.

The eyes that star back at me in the bathroom mirror are that of a stranger. I do not recognize this person. He might as well be a passerby glancing from a crowd wondering whom this man was walking down the street staring intently at the sidewalk. The eyes, the eyes that once looked upon... Continue Reading →

So I can feel…..

The stove pops and hisses while the homemade Chicken noodle soup slowly completes its boil. A Television in the background provides the only conversation that has taken place all day. Silence is golden? Not to the overly active mind it isn’t. Sometimes there just needs to be sound and sometimes there needs to be a... Continue Reading →

To: My boys

On November 3rd, 1999 you were born. I can remember it like it just happened. The fear, excitement, and immeasurable love that tangled and bound up my body was crippling. You were born in the morning and your first day was filled with visitors, a proud mother and father trying their best to change you... Continue Reading →

How do I…..

The first time I said, “I love you” to her it slipped out by accident. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to say it to her; I had been waiting years to say those very words to her. She was house sitting for her neighbor, she wanted me to come over and stay with her.... Continue Reading →

Why I……

I have always been one to talk things out when something is bothering me. This allowed me to externalize what was building up internally which in turn allowed me to make it real. If it was just inside my head then it never seemed real, there never seemed to be evidence of how I was... Continue Reading →

The Dream….

The lake was large and deep.  The water while blue on the surface darkened quickly, so much that I could not see the kicking of my own feet.  My arms pushed and pulled at a rapid pace to keep myself afloat in what seemed like the exact center of the cold body of water.  I... Continue Reading →

Bleeding it in…..

I always felt that love was such a unique experience that it could or would only happen once in my lifetime. I have many theories as to where this feeling came from but that is for another time and another place. Those of us with crippling self-doubt never thought that love would be something that... Continue Reading →

Riding the Wave,

There is no question that I have lived with depression the vast majority of my life. I find it hard to believe that most haven’t experienced this feeling whether they want to admit it or not, I just don’t see how it is avoidable. There were many moments where I have let it take me... Continue Reading →

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