I refuse to make someone feel like they are second best. Like they are a consolation prize. As if they are not what I want but I am lonely so I will put forth my best efforts to enjoy their company and make them feel like they are the partner I have been looking for... Continue Reading →
Why I……
I have always been one to talk things out when something is bothering me. This allowed me to externalize what was building up internally which in turn allowed me to make it real. If it was just inside my head then it never seemed real, there never seemed to be evidence of how I was... Continue Reading →
Bleeding it in…..
I always felt that love was such a unique experience that it could or would only happen once in my lifetime. I have many theories as to where this feeling came from but that is for another time and another place. Those of us with crippling self-doubt never thought that love would be something that... Continue Reading →
Forgiveness.
What is a forgivable act? What is not? Why do people show up in court to forgive someone who has just murdered a member of their family, while someone in the next courtroom tears into the defendant wishing them nothing but the worst for the time left they have on this Earth. It amazes me... Continue Reading →
All the falling pieces…..
Ever play that game where you sit and contemplate the existence you would have had had you not taken a right an hour ago and instead taken a left? The one where you dream up scenarios of maybe had you taken that left you would have been involved in some horrific accident or on the... Continue Reading →
Tearing down and building up….
May of 2016 I walked into a Guitar Center to look, I swear just look, at guitars. Hung high upon the wall was a Derek Trucks Gibson SG. It showcased a natural wood with a red finish and it was gorgeous. I had a plan throughout the six months that she lived with me that... Continue Reading →
Riding the waves.
When the pain first set in it felt like someone was building a wall, not around me, but directly over my entire body. My feet were cemented in place so that I could not move from the crew of builders stacking brick after brick, laying layers and layers of mortar across my legs, then up... Continue Reading →
Random thoughts (aka – three vodka tonics).
It's raining. The sound to me is like thousands of tiny feet slapping against a plastic floor. Thwap, thwap, thwap. I always loved the sound of the rain. I wanted a metal roof on the house she and I owned so the sound of the rain would be magnified. It brings me peace to hear... Continue Reading →
Learning my new life, 